Jesus H. Zombie

By Ed Donovan • Jun 17th, 2007 • Category: Comedy

Synopsis: Alex is distractedly driving while talking on his cell phone when he accidentally runs into a guy who looks like he has just stumbled out of an ACDC concert. Alex, is of course, pretty freaked out but things only get worse when the guy stands up and walks over making strange hissing noises. For some reason, Alex mistakes this long-haired bathrobe wearing character for Jesus H. Christ and takes him home. Jesus is a nice enough zombie and he and Alex enjoy some heart warming E.T. style moments around the house. Things start to go bad when Jesus loses his temper, zombifies a couple of Mormons and hits the down where he performs miracles and kills pimps.

Jesus H. Zombie is a likable enough movie that starts out with a great sequence with two cute little kids shooting bottles with a pellet gun and wishing they could be killing terrorists. They are hilarious, and the scene actually got my hopes up for some children vs. zombie action. Unfortunately, the Jesus zombie takes them out before the credits roll. After this sequence the movie gets really talky. The scenes just go on and on.

The script probably the strongest asset and biggest weakness of the movie. It has it’s funny moments, but when you title a movie Jesus H. Zombie, you need to deliver. The opportunities for satire are endless, but none of them are capitalized on here. Even the idea that this guy looks like Jesus is ridiculous, because he looks like somebody that hangs out at the local truck stop. On countless occasions throughout the movie a character will walk up to this t-shirt wearing long hair and ask him if he is Jesus or say that he looks like Jesus. NOBODY would say that this guy looks like Jesus and even though this is a comedy, the suspension of disbelief is just too great. It’s ridiculous to the point of being insulting to the audience.

Technically, the movie is adequate. You can hear everything and everything is in focus, but it’s flat and uncreative. The direction consists mainly of medium shots, close ups and fade outs. Very little is done to tell the story cinematically. The scenes also go on FOREVER. This static directorial style and lack of effective pace and timing rob the movie of many comedic and suspenseful opportunities. The script has a lot of funny moments, but they don’t play to their full effect.

As a fan of low budget horror and underground filmmaking, I can overlook a lot of things. But I can’t overlook an exploitative title that doesn’t pay off on any level. Jesus H. Christ plays it so clean and is so devoid of controversy, that you could probably release it at a Christian video store. There is very little gore, zero nudity but even more suspiciously, absolutely no religious commentary. If you title your film Jesus H. Zombie, you can’t play it safe with the film itself.

Ultimately, Jesus H. Zombie doesn’t deliver the goods as a horror movie, a comedy or a social satire.

One Star.

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