Dead Time Tales

By Gary M. Lumpp • Jan 31st, 2004 • Category: Horror

Another microbudget anthology series, this time from producer David Sterling. The best thing going for it is the source material - the three stories are all based on short tales from some of the genre’s masters: H.G. Wells, Mary Shelley, and Rudyard Kipling.

There are three stories here, the first actually serving as the set-up for the second and third shorts while acting as a bookend for the entire piece. “Crystal Gazing” is set in an antiques store, which is a clever way to bring the other stories into the picture - each is set around an antique with its own unique tale. In this case the owner of the store discovers that a recently acquired crystal is actually a window into an alien world - complete with an alien who likes baloney sandwiches. When he’s not being bulled by his wife, the owner relates his tale to a fellow science fiction writer, and the two bounce the story around trying to figure out just what the alien wants. It’s a cute enough story, but unfortunately the acting is a bit too stiff for a short that relies so much on special effects.

The second story, “Cold Feet,” is the meat and potatoes of the piece, and my personal favorite. An engaged man finds his way into the antiques shop, and walks out with an old post card that features a woman dressed as a dominatrix. He finds himself obsessed with the woman, especially since his wife seems to be a bit on the traditional side. (At least that’s what the guy would like us to believe - his fiance’ seems pretty quick to get down and dirty at a local motel.) After a trip to a strip joint the man finds himself face to face with the woman of his dreams, with classic horror story results. The acting ranges from good (especially Veronica Carothers as an exotic dancer) to theatrical, but the effects are done pretty well and the short actually tells a good story. A bit too much of it requires the actors to tell us what’s happening, and that makes for awkward moments at times. But yes, there’s nudity in this short, for those of you who require that with your helping of gore.

Next up is “Beastiality,” which also appears in Kevin Lindenmuth’s Werewolf Tales. Here the story makes much more sense, as Randal Malone leads his gangster cronies into the shop and ends up with a ring that turns them all into werewolves. While the reasons behind the short are much more logical for inclusion in this collection than they were in Kevin Lindenmuth’s Werewolf Tales collection (and I believe it was originally shot as a part of Dead Time Tales), it’s still just an average genre outing - and the werewolf mask still looks too fake in the daylight.

Ron Ford wrote, directed, and produced all of the stories in this anthology, and it’s easy to see his fingerprints all over the final product. He’s an old school director, preferring to let the actors and the script take center stage. At times that works well, at others it makes for less interesting viewing (especially when the story and cast aren’t really up to the task). The shots are well-framed and the audio, for the most part, is acceptable. The music (by Jay Woelfel, who’s better known as the director of movies like Iron Thunder) is fitting and very Full Moonish, and it helps set the right tone for the different scenes.

Unfortunately, having already seen “Bestiality,” and with the wrap around and postcard stories being the only other shorts, this feature feels like it’s missing something. Another short would have been nice instead of the extended end credits where everyone gets their own title card and video moment. Instead this is just an average anthology, with enough genre goodies to make the average viewer feel like they at least got something for their time.

My only question: why did the crystal look so much like a turtle shell?

Two and a half stars.

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